Coaching: Popular for Good Reason
The word "coach" is bandied about often these days. We hear of executive coaches, life
coaches, business coaches, career coaches, time-management coaches. But what is
coaching, and what does it really involve?
It's easier to start with what coaching isn't. Coaching isn't:
--teaching or training, though it can include elements of those.
--therapy or counseling. Therapy focuses on problems, usually from the past, which it
attempts to resolve. Coaching focuses on the future, helping you define and reach goals.
Coaching asks "how" and "what" more than "why."
--all talk. You and your coach may discuss a situation during a meeting, but then you take
action and report back to debrief and plan next steps. It's action oriented.
--simply correcting negative or problem behavior. It often starts with a frustration or
problem that needs resolution, but ultimately it is bigger-picture, more affirmative and
visionary.
--about one party in a superior relationship to the other. The most effective managers
coach their staffs, but an employee can also coach a co-worker, if he or she has the
knowledge to do so.
--performed only by dedicated paid professionals. I enjoy a peer-coaching relationship
with a friend who is also in business. We meet weekly and take turns sharing goals,
supporting each other, and problem-solving.
So if these are what coaching is not, then what is it?
I define coaching as the goal-oriented process of equipping people with the tools,
knowledge, conditions and opportunities to develop themselves and become more
effective.
It can focus on business, career, family, health, personal growth, financial development or
any mixture of these.
Coaching can be a short-term arrangement where your coach helps you achieve a
particular goal or project. For example, people often call me in a panic about an upcoming
presentation or job interview. They need help preparing for a one-time event. On the
other hand, coaching can also be longer term, where you seek to work on a number of
goals and objectives.
Coaching is generally done in person, but it can also be accomplished by phone, fax and
e-mail. I once had a client who was a marketing manager in Sacramento. During one
period she faxed me the performance appraisals of each of her staff people and we went
over them on the phone. Coaching sessions can be scheduled anywhere from two to four
times a month and last from 30 minutes to a full day.
A coach needs a facilitative communication style. The coach doesn't bark advice, but rather
asks questions, clarifies, encourages, brainstorms, inspires, acts as a model, offers
alternatives, gives feedback, builds confidence, challenges, listens compassionately,
develops skills, creates ownership and explores potential. A coach is a partner and ally
who provides you with the support, encouragement and structure to achieve more than
you would by yourself.
Honest, straightforward feedback is an important part of the coach's role. If I think you're
approaching a situation in an unhelpful manner, it's my job as a coach to say so, even if I
don't think you want to hear it. Many years ago a friend of mine hired a coach to help him
with his floundering start-up business. After the first session, she told him, "You don't
have a business, you have a hobby."
Even though he winced, this was exactly what he needed to hear.
A good coach spends a generous amount of time listening and asking questions,
especially in the beginning. Well-crafted questions inevitably help you as well, because
usually you're too close to the situation to see it in all its curvature. You and your coach
are, in effect, peering through a camera lens together, zooming in to get a better look at
this detail, zooming out to take in this undetected corner over here. Questions help vary
the aperture to examine a situation more sharply. Defining and naming all the elements in
a situation really is half the battle.
A skilled coach invites you to explore your ideas first, rather than immediately offering
solutions. This can be tricky. For me, it is the ultimate in ego satisfaction to be the supplier
of answers, the "guru" who has stepped in and saved someone. But people are far more
excited by, and invested in, a solution if they uncover it for themselves.
Over the years I have had several peer coaches, a business coach, fitness coach and
prosperity coach. Each one helped me in a unique and memorable way.
One nudged me to quit a volunteer activity that was a drain on my time and energy.
Another helped me redefine my fee structure. A third pushed me to run a marathon. Each
one contributed to my well-being.
Coaching is trendy, and anything trendy is worthy of skepticism. But I believe coaching is
trendy for a good reason: It's a powerful new twist on the age-old need to overcome
isolation, receive encouragement and support from others, and remember we are not
alone.